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Sunday, July 19, 2009

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished (by the NYPD)

It was a busy Saturday in Herald Square, and I was happily heading home after a good commercial audition.

As I made my way into the Subway station only one of the turnstiles was open.
Not the usual turnstiles but the rotogate ones, that are kind of like shopping mall entrances.
A big line of people had formed behind it, because idiot tourists can never figure out how to use the damn things.

After about four minutes of waiting, it was almost my turn.
An older woman in front of me swiped her card, but the guy in front of her couldn't figure out how to push the gate. He ended up going through and using her Metrocard swipe.

The poor little old woman turned around, and begged me in her really cute Irish accent "Please could I go through on the next one that man took my swipe and I can't go now!"

I tried to blow her off a bit, and said "well actually I don't think two people can fit through."
The line of angry New Yorkers behind us was getting bigger and more pissed off.
I swiped my card and sure enough she squeezed herself into the turnstile behind me.
She thanked me a bunch and happily went on her way.
I thought oh what the heck, I need all the good Karma I can get.

She walked right and I started to go left to get down to my train.
The next thing I know three NYPD officers have halted me in my tracks.
I walked over to an area with more cops, and little Irish lady being interrogated.

They took both of our ID's and kept asking us if we knew each other, because it is illegal to skip subway fare.
Meanwhile homeless people were dealing drugs feet away, but IM the big criminal? Right.

She kept telling them it was all her fault, and that I was just helping her because the man in front of her took her swipe, and no we had never met before.
She kept apologizing to me as well.
I wasn't sure if saying "the crazy Leprechaun squeezed herself into my turnstile" would help my case or not, so I kept my mouth shut.

They took her Metrocard to check if in fact she had paid her fare before, and if the card had been used.

Twenty humiliating minutes of people streaming by and staring at us later, the officer came back.

During that time I had a bunch of thoughts running through my head....
"I could really use a Xanex right about now."
"Should I be flirting with these cops more?"
"Oh my god they are going to throw me in the subway fare cheater slammer, and i'm going to figure out how to make someone my bitch!"

He finally came back, and could see that her card had clearly been used, but they talked for a minute deciding whether or not to give a ticket with a fine.

At one point in the conversation, they had decided to let me go and fine her, but then they decided to let both of us go.

Relieved,traumatized,reveling in what bad luck I have and feeling very illegal, I made my way home.

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